Wednesday, February 07, 2007

And now for something completely different

This is just an odd bit of ranting - just scroll down to the posts underneath (and don't forget to check the 'previous posts' on the right) for the hardcore musical bonanza.

OK, so the cat story didn't have anything to do with Spinal Tap whatsoever. Those guys probably didn't even have cats. And they sure as hell didn't make them sing (if the first statement turns out to be wrong, you might to want start doubting the second one as well though). But since I loathe those embarrassing linear gaps on my blog and no new stories seem to be forthcoming (I'm too groggy to post them anyway - that's what a concussion does to you), I've been pondering about ways to fill those gaps up.

For one thing, I could steal other people's Spinal Tap stories. Theft is common enough on the internet and anyway, who could sue me? I live in Antwerp. You don't even know where that is*. But that wouldn't do at all. It'd be boring. And if I'm about to be bore myself (never mind you) for no good reason, it should at least include drinks.

Then it hit me: let's drop the pretence. Let's write about what really interests me: me. Let's talk about all the simple yet incomprehensible things in life. Let's talk about love in the air, about the futility of reason, about all those dissapointments that give you more strength (and the rare ones that casually dump you in a pool of self-inflicted misery) or about the reason for taking on a job you hate (notably: making sure you'll never ever have to do it again).

Then it hit me again: if you want start egotripping either a) start a band or b) put another blog online. Because crap like this will make you lose the 5 visitors a day you're still getting, dude.

Some deep thoughts on the farce that is contemporary music then, perhaps? Nope, then I'd become my own worst blunder. And besides, I'm not about to bite the hand that feeds me. At the very fringe of besideness there also was a wee voice saying: "you'll also lose even more visitors. Dude."

At this point I had to make a brief detour to the wee voice to point out that I don't care about the amount of visitors this blog gets (don't take it personally - I'm just not the sort of dude who enjoys jerking off on his site stats).

And there I was, back at square one. But suddenly, there was a third hit and this time, it went straight to the cranial base. I realised that this blog is all about superficial drivel. Sure, I'll throw in some (hell no: wads) of irony for good measure, but in the end Blunderpop is and will always remain a tribute to stupidity. So why do I bother about linear gaps? Who cares? Instead, I could be spending quality time in an animal shelter folding balloons into funny'ish shapes to the amusement of underprivileged cats (remember: I have a concussion and all those hits aren't helping either).

So, finally, have I made any point at all? Well yes, several in fact. One: Spinal Tap cannot be rushed. Just visit this blog from time to time and see what's come up. If there's nothing: give your cubicle a jolly good bang and start filling out your time sheets. Two: writing in your blog while ye olde internal gyroscope has forgotten about gravity is not a good idea. Three: I'm going to put up another blog with my own confused view of the world. It will be straight from the heart (or at least with as few detours as a male brain will allow) and it might very well be tacky.

I hope all that is good enough for you. But if you prefer some really harcore pornography instead (possibly including underprivileged cats), just let me know.

* In case you're an attorney: yes, I live in Ohio.