Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Danish Butter Rookies

Anne-Mette Bak from Denmark sent us this story about the Roskilde festival. Danish people just love FKK and streaking but they'll also be quite happy to use any evidence whatsoever in this regard just so they can take the piss out of any poor soul that happens to be caught in their nudist web. So be careful whenever you participate in Roskilde's annual 'running naked' contest.

I discovered your awesome site through the Roskilde community website, and saw that you were looking for festival stories. I love festivals and the many fucked-up things you experience at them. I am just a 'normal' visitor who for some reason always ends up in some very weird situations. Allthough this particular story is not about me but about a guy I know.

Every year the Roskilde festival has a 'naked run race', something everybody goes to see. I go to a fairly small college (about 400 students) and most of us go to Roskilde every year. The joy of going to a small school can also be your worst nightmare, because it's nice to know everybody but on the other hand it's not so nice when everybody also knows about you and your screw-ups. Some poor first-year guy learned about this 'social control' thingie in a very sad way...

Ready, set, go !

At the time, he had not started college yet, but while he was at the Roskilde festival, he decided that he should join the naked run race. So he did. He had a great festival and returned safely home. About a month later he started college. In Denmark, it is custom that the 1st years go through a lot of humiliation and traumas during their first couple of months. The students of the 3rd year have the honour of being the dickheads who get to soak the 1st-years in water, put birdseed in their bags, humiliate them at assemblies in front of the entire school etc. All of this is because the new students should not think they are equal to the 'old and wise'.

So this guy is going through his daily traumas. He -sadly- is the guy that everybody knows and therefore there were quite a lot of 3rd years trying to figure out how we could humiliate him. Then one day on our way to school while sitting on the bus we took one of the free newspapers they distribute on our public transport and started to read the backpage (which is being written by comedians) and there, on a picture that takes up half of the page, is our guy - running very much naked in Roskilde mud. A few hours later, a huge load of this particular newspaper was scattered all over our school. We ended up not having to do anything to ruin his first few months at college, he did it all on his own. Need I say more apart from the fact that he didn't attend the race this year? Hehe...

And the winner strips it all...


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